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Thursday, March 17, 2011

Irony

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
©    Smart man + smart woman = romance
©    Smart man + dumb woman = affair
©    Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
©    Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnant

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
©    Smart boss + smart employee = profit
©    Smart boss + dumb employee = production
©    Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
©    Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH
©    A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
©    A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
©    A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
©    A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
©    To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
©    To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
©    Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

INCLINATION TO CHANGE
©    A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
©    A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

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